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Literature
101 Problems
Hello,
Dropping in for a quick journal about what's going on lately. Warning, whiney rant buffering...
The short and sweet version? I have no access to my computer or any other electrical equipment at my house. Faulty wiring has left my base of operations (or basement if you prefer) dead.
I have to bring in an electrician to fix the problem. Of course, I could move everything to another room. But the problem remains.
All of my "free" time is being dedicated to calling people, cleaning and moving furniture and appliances to give access to the people who will eventually come and fix everything (hopefully by Monday).
That said, I'm not inactive by choice (for once). The lack of communication with the digital world has left me wondering about things. Notably, at this late hour, on my mind is why I bother having so many different accounts here on dA. I have one for a more prose oriented account and another for fanfiction. And now I'm thinking of merging them all.
The real question is: how m
:iconThe-Archaeon:The-Archaeon
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Literature
Walking Ghosts
What’s the point?
Why am I here?
Where am I going?
Who am I?
When will it finally be over?
The questions plague my mind
Along with other words none too kind
But I realise that it’s because I’m afraid
Afraid of the answer I may or may not find
Sometimes I wonder, is it time
Can I walk free, unburdened, is it such a crime
To go to bed without any voices screaming at me
To go to bed at peace, and not imagine the scenario
Where I have to go and destroy all that it is I know
Where the itch to ditch it all and hitch a ride to nowhere
Everywhere, anywhere but here, just gotta get away from here
So empty and cold, but I don’t feel it. That’s the point I can’t
It’s what’s scary and spooky and all those things I thought weren’t me
Friendly, happy, not sad or angry, spare me the torture of waking up
Because deep inside there’s nothing, no desire, no fire, no passion or ambition
My next fix is all that’s on my mind, be it music, poe
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Literature
Brave - [2017 Edit]
As I pick up my pen, it seems as if that 1st of November started like any other day.
                                                                                    * * *
Mom woke me up. She gave me a tired, but warm smile as I came to. I smiled back, naturally, and fought off the pull sleep had on my conscious. I wanted to stay in bed, though only because going to school meant leaving Mom's side. Not that I’d ever tell her that, so I reluctantly left the comfort of my bed to get ready.
In the bathroom I stripped and tested the water with my big toe. It was the perfect temperature I noticed with relief. Mom had a knack for this sort of thing. The water was always scalding when my prepared the bath. I would even see the steam rise from the tub. I loathed his baths
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Literature
My Demon
I hate hearing voices
I close my eyes, but sleep keeps
Eluding my weary mind.
I get up, walking deadman, “I’m fine”
My reflection speaks the words.
But it feels so absurd,
As my empty smile takes shape:
Can I not fight this fate?
I scream to my heart’s content,
Thrashing in my cage,
I don’t want to be here.
Though it’s not fear
That I’ll fade
It’s fear that I’ll want to repent,
For something I can’t remember,
Being guilty of.
The saddest part of it all,
The saddest part of my fall,
Isn’t the slow crawl
Through the shadow
Of the valley of death
It’s that inside, deep inside, my faith
Withers and the flower of happiness wilts,
For there’s no such smile as radiant as yours.
Fight, rage against, claw your way back
Out of the dark abyss.
I’ll never be alone;
Even when gone
You can’t be missed,
If you’re always here in my heart.
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Literature
Back From the Dead
Determination sparkling in your eyes
We’re passed the point of lies
That gun barrel, its tip kisses my cheek
Just before that bullet streaks
Through my brain
I say, I’m dead again!
You’ll never catch me,
No, you’ll never get back at me
You’ll sit helpless, trapped in the memory
Of my great morbid masquerade:
The ghosts come flying out at night
The ghouls crawling out of sight
The deceased continue to feed this blight
How, I wonder, can I survive tonight?

Form a line, form a line!
This shooting range accepts volunteers
Twisted notions of peace and serenity
There’s honor in execution defined
By the battlefield of war. Stand with your peers!
We’ll burn a bright, bright memory with eternity
As our witness!
You’ll never catch me,
No, you’ll never get back at me
You’ll sit helpless, trapped in the memory
Of my great morbid masquerade:
The ghosts come flying out at night
The ghouls crawling out of sight
The deceased continu
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Literature
Wide Awake
Peace is a lie
When all you carry inside
Is bittersweet emptiness
Further away down this path before me
In the dark I navigate it blindly
I’m certain I’m not alone, shadows dancing
Keeping me company
Love is the fear
Shackling all you hold dear
To selfish desire
I no longer breathe
And am looking for new ways to be
Somewhat alive, I beg: set me free
But hold me tightly, lest I stand on my own
The chains of a better tomorrow
Have me spinning in the void of compliance
Drowning  in this pool of ignorance
Surely, ‘tis can’t be nought but bliss
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Literature
Absurd
The last emotion
Panic, airless lungs, suffocation
Living, I woke day to day
Come whatever may
The well of tears is dry anyway
The swelling in your chest
I forget
For now there’s nothing left
Bereft of happiness, the theft,
The robbery, silently, slowly, agonizingly, going crazy so easily, so readily, end me, end it, I’ve reached the limit, exhibit me, the last freak show: pathological denial, delusional, psycho martyr; in a word, absurd.
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Literature
The Final Petal
Together we regret not to meet Death
We fear not her seemingly cold embrace
It’s but the prelude to tomorrow, our new beginnings
We regret not to meet Death, for She’s brought us together again
200 stories later, I could still never love another
Wilted has this flower of life become, I stagger
Stumble through this troubling, perpetual fog
And deep within myself, I question how to reset the clock
My sins are mine to bear
You all have helped laid me bare
Now be my support and lay me to rest
You’ve, after all, said I’ve done my best
200 stories later, I could still never love another
Wilted has this flower of life become, I stagger
Stumble through this troubling, perpetual fog
And deep within myself, I question how to reset the clock
I’m stricken with the need to express
An inner most desire of seeking help
Yet my voice carries no weight
And ultimately, I tempt fate
The only way I know how
200 stories later, I could still never love another
Wilted has this fl
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Literature
Set Me Free
I could never conceive of a world
In which I could identify as happy
Something in me broke and left me dead
I think, or maybe I’m weak in the knees
Because I see how cowardly
All this has made me
You speak of knowledge?
You speak of experience?
All I see is darkness
Darkness, and no hope for tomorrow
Since there’ll never be a light at the end of tunnel
I would never make my way back
For it would mean pain renewed
But never in the ways I’d ever expect
Keep away, steady, I’m losing track
Of time, all the times too you struck
Cords, deep within, crossed lines, no turning back
You speak of knowledge?
You speak of experience?
All I see is darkness
Darkness, and no hope for tomorrow
Since there’ll never be a light at the end of tunnel
Just end it, keep it clean, not reckless
Contradictory I’m left in this mess
Because despite this weakness
Inherent in me I can’t pull the trigger, less
I remember the faces of the dead, disappointed
You speak of knowle
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Literature
Me
My soul’s experimental fancy
Has me filled with such anxiety:
All these words but none are quite ME
Such a small word to cover vast expanses
Of a conscious limitless yet caged
Eternal and malleable yet brief and bound
Regardless, there’s no other so fitting
That can have one singing
A tune, a hymn, an anthem so unique and true
And nothing rings so blue
Or leaves one so resolute
As saying I am ME
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Literature
Canvas
Fell beast, from you I seek release
Your stalking of my every waking moment
Is not irksome, nor tiresome
But more of a despairing inability, to me
Be it that I live halfway across the world, still you’d find me
You accompany day and night, as my shadow
I fear the day you swallow me whole
To call you a curse would be as silly as doubting the sun
Perhaps, to some, you’re easily ignored. But you infect
Every piece of parchment my thoughts linger upon
Black ink is stained with your stink, The Archaeon
A persona I created to be mighty
A persona I dreamed to be me
But in reality
I am simply your canvas.
A total collapse of the self
Will not have me begging for help
It would leave me mute
Unable to explain why I’ve gone deaf
Impossible for me to comprehend my blindness
Without words to explain to me such sightlessness
My ignorance would simply fester
Am I to be only another jester?
Why cry? Silence reigns, I dare not break it
I die, inside the flames, I dare no
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Literature
Blue
I can’t do it
Looking to my right
On this bed we shared
Vacant, I hang on by a thread
Erase the memories, but still I’d weep
You remember the day we met?
On a Sunday, pouring rain, soaking wet
Umbrella sheltering us, strangers both
Curious happening, chance gesture of kindness
All translated to a date, a chance to reciprocate
Ruby heart and sapphire eyes, both warmed an old soul
Reminisce of a time I’d only known bliss, I was no longer alone
You never told me your story, only listened to mine with a patient smile
Maybe if I’d asked, maybe you were too patient, or…
Expectant of me to make the first move, you held the door…
Tomorrow comes and your laughter still echoes
On in my mind, and my heart pangs, twists and turns, I heave, for I no longer dare dream
Too late you’re already gone
However this is not how it seem
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Literature
Fall Apart
You remember the days, when we smiled
Once upon a time, where we’d go so far
Untamed passion, bereft of boundaries
Supposedly, it was love
Everyone said so anyway
Every day, every night, the thought of you on my mind
Messages from you kept me alive
Even when all I could think of was when will I die?
Fuck it all, can it not just end?
Amidst the misery and self-loathing you kept me afloat
Love me (so suddenly), for I love you
Love me, I swear it’ll be true
Always, I’ll love you
Patronize me not, this loyalty is not bought
And to think what I felt
Reflected an inner desire, but no, it was just another nightmare
Tell me, do the pictures on the wall move to my despair? Or
Are they alive because of your glee?
Never would I believe you’d make such a fool of me
Definite was the schism, all of it shattering to pieces ,
Love no
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Mature content
Razor :iconthe-archaeon:The-Archaeon 1 26
Literature
Again
Begrudgingly I wake
Slow on the uptake
I fail to realise the mistakes
That led me to a smile so fake
Reflected in the mirror, the stakes
Have never been so high: retaliate
Against Fate
It’s a tempting lie
Exempting oneself from all liability
But everyone knows reality to be
An unforgiving quest to die
Happy
Endless craving for something we’re not
Doesn’t matter if you’re shot
Full of lies, inject your veins, so hot
To be in a state where we’ve forgot,
Left to our devices
Only in touch with primal vices
It’s a tempting lie
Exempting oneself from all responsibility
But everyone knows reality to be
A cruel way to die
Unhappy
Carnal acts to keep my mind sedated
This hunger is so rarely sated
Allow me this momentary peace
After all, my happiness is on a leash,
A lease so easily brokered away
Will I live to see another day?
Or will this poison show me another way?
It’s my desperate try
To free myself of all shameless equity
Everyone’s reality i
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Literature
Blow It All Away
You start from bottom to top
It’s not so hard to understand
That you can’t win my heart
With a simple wave or smile
Even a hello wouldn’t suffice
But not because I’ve a heart of ice
It’s that no one works that way
Am I supposed to be on all fours
Worshipping the ground you tread on?
Should I pick you up and kiss you
Since you’ve blessed me with your attention?
Please, avert your gaze
I rather not have you thinking
I’m playing any games
Not out of fear
Out of respect
I’m here, you’re there
Simple matter of fact
We’re different people
And I won’t break your heart
On moral principle
I refuse to have you hurt
By my negligence
Is that so hard to believe?
Neither you nor I have an elastic heart
And we don’t do cheap thrills.
So before fire meets gasoline
Remember big girls cry too
I’d never salt your wounds
This may be hard, to understand
But it’s about guts over fear
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Favourites

Journal
Some random thoughts
Most of the time I'm fine with being weird.
I've always been weird. I've never really fitted in anywhere, and I never  felt like putting on a mask just in order to fit in. Such a thing seemed fake to me, not to mention the whole pretend-game would be extremely tiring on the long run. Even though my rational mind knew that putting on a mask would've made my teenage (and probably adult) years a lot less hellish.
That's the thing. Life is easier if you fit in, and I sometimes wish I could fit in just a tad easier. That I could like the same things as most other people liked. That I could make beautiful art and write stories that people would like and actually feel connected to. 
I don't mind being weird, but at times I do miss a sense of connection or belonging. 
I'm well aware of the general trends in art and design. After all, it's my job to know. The thing is, I don't feel like it. Making and sharing art is always a fine balance between doing what you love and being like
:iconDamaiMikaz:DamaiMikaz
:icondamaimikaz:DamaiMikaz 69 172
[194] Restless :iconmcptato:mcptato 1,660 45
Literature
Contrast
Contrast
My eyes rest upon this scorched field
Where the warriors couldn't yield
To the wounds that wouldn't be healed
To the truths that were revealed...
Burned banners on the ashen ground
Meet a warhorn without a sound
Now seven thousand souls are bound
To this place, their burial mound
My white wings can't carry them all
To their homes, to the Great Hall
But they are immortalized in their fall
Golden names that no one will call
The Queen has fallen with you
She also saw the battle through
This kingdom that you slew
Forever rests with this view
I salute to the souls of the past
With the memories we forecast
These fierce fires no longer last
Greeted by morning's contrast
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Literature
Stargazer Demon
Stargazer Demon
Lantern light,
A pitch black night
Eyes that no longer see
The demon in me
Behold the sky
Without asking why
A soul's flight,
Such beautiful sight
My dark heart
Wants to tear it apart
To hold the life
To be its cold knife
The final cry,
A satisfied sigh
My reason to flee
Is not to be
Something you hate
My cruel fate...
Oh, lantern light,
Such is demon's might
My soul bleeds
Thus end its needs!
Shield the star
I adore from afar
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Daily Paint 1572. Diskoalafied :iconcryptid-creations:Cryptid-Creations 2,802 74
Literature
death is a transition of sorts
    Death was – well, it was disorienting. I think I said that last time, but it still bears repeating – I mean, really? How do you adjust to being dead? There’s a lot to it. I questioned everything in those first few days, or hours, or minutes; I lost all concept of time, initially. It was like I blinked, and an entire hour had gone by.
    It would be easy to misinterpret all of this as regret, but it wasn’t. I didn’t regret what I’d done; no, I was just trying to understand what I was now. Where I was. That kind of a thing. I mean, here I am, Tuesday the seventeenth – or whenever, again, I’d lost track of time – and suddenly in possession of all of the answers I’d cut my wrists to get. It’s overwhelming. Even the things that are so close to how they were in life, the house I lived in and the weather and my appearance… even those were hard to get used to, because it wasn’t the same.
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Literature
tuesday nights are the best nights
    There was nothing quite like a cozy Tuesday night spent watching low-budget horror movies. Reagan was always antsy in the evenings as she waited for Nadia to return home, and this frosty January evening was no different. Well, she’d never been very good at being patient to begin with. Never had been, probably never would be. At least Nadia didn’t mind.
    She was perched on the edge of the couch, swinging her feet when the front door unlocked with a quiet click. Nadia was thrown backwards by the force of Reagan’s hug – hadn’t she just been on the couch? It had only been a moment, after all – but accepted it with open arms once she’d regained her balance. “Why the sudden assault?” she asked, prying Reagan off of her after a few moments. No immediate response came, so Nadia busied herself with setting down the grocery bags she’d been holding and starting dinner.
    “I missed you,”
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Exit :icondcheng886:dcheng886 7 0 Forest 3 :icondcheng886:dcheng886 7 2 Path :icondcheng886:dcheng886 4 0 Forest 2 :icondcheng886:dcheng886 14 2 Casual Widowmaker :iconmonorirogue:MonoriRogue 3,010 107 Casual Pharah :iconmonorirogue:MonoriRogue 8,022 381 Pharah - Overwatch's return :iconsciamano240:Sciamano240 4,619 89 Pharah - Do not drop weights :iconmonorirogue:MonoriRogue 4,129 285
Mature content
Je Suis Depressif/ive :iconrotten101:rotten101 2 2
First off, Happy New Year. I hope everyone's been having a good start.

As some may have noticed, I decided on picking up writing again. The last few months haven't been pleasant and I couldn't quite place my finger on why. I'm temporarily returning here, to see if it'll help me cope with whatever nonsense is plaguing me. We'll see where it goes.

I hope you all have it in you to bear with me still.

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The-Archaeon
Is it normal to wake up to the taste of your dreams turned to ash?

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:iconvvlpes:
vvlpes Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2016  Student Writer
Hi, The-Archaeon! Just wanted to drop in and be the first to welcome you to the group :iconpoetryforall:!
If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to either note me or one of the other admin. We will always get back to you as soon as possible. :aww:
I look forward to reading some of your work and seeing you around the group!

DameVulpes
:heart:
Reply
:iconthe-archaeon:
The-Archaeon Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2016
Thank you, I appreciate the warm welcome
Reply
:iconvvlpes:
vvlpes Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2016  Student Writer
You're quite welcome. :aww:
Reply
:iconphenix59:
Phenix59 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2016
Thank you very much for the :+fav::wave:
Reply
:iconthe-archaeon:
The-Archaeon Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2016
You're very welcome ;)
Reply
:iconimcooliswear:
ImCooliSwear Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2016
Thanks for the favourites and watch!! ^^;
Reply
:iconthe-archaeon:
The-Archaeon Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2016
Likewise :)
Reply
:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2016
You are very welcome. ^-^ Perhaps you can offer me the same support if you perceive any pieces of my art and enjoy them.
Reply
:iconthe-archaeon:
The-Archaeon Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2016
Will do ;)
Reply
:iconlarathain:
Larathain Featured By Owner Edited Mar 15, 2016
still haven't ;p
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